January 6, 2026
My daughter stayed over last night and that evening we had a “movie night”. We watched Wedding Crashers and she figured out right away that Owen Wilson does the Lightning McQueen’s voice. While I was impressed with her astute auditory sense, I was even more impressed by how good of a writer she is. She wanted my opinion on an assignment she had because it was a traumatic time in her life as a result of Dante going into crisis, and while I made a few minor suggestions, the substance of her essay was, (how do the kids today put it?) FIRE.
I am very proud of that girl, who she is, and has always been. She spends most of the time in her room like a true teenager, but knowing she’s there gives me some solace. I love it when she is here, because sometimes I get lonely. I am pretty good at shrugging that empty feeling away, but at times it lingers, and ignoring it doesn’t always cast it away. But I don’t want just anyone to hang out with though; I miss my kids.
Sometimes Dante will call me with his iPad at 2 in the morning, and like a true teenager he will remind me of the list of items I need to bring for my next visit to Bancroft. I won’t hear from him again until around 7am, and this call is a good morning, have a good day kind of call, again short and sweet. Even though I might have homeroom bustling in, I would throw on my ear buds and take the call keeping my voice low. Sometimes a student would curiously look over but then look away, which I always appreciate. Dante would have his jacket on, and I would tell him to have a good day at school. After that call I turned my phone off and went about my day, knowing he was out of his room where he spent most of his day going to school. When the bell rings, I would often encourage my homeroom to have a good day as well as they sauntered out the door to 1st period, this was something I never did up until a few years ago.
Dante would call me again sometime after 2:30pm, “How was your day, Dante?” I would always encourage him to talk and give me details about his day. Sometimes when I would think of it, I would email his teacher and get the skinny on something specific that Dante did so I can promote a conversation. “Did you have cooking class today?” “What did you make?” Then, throughout that late afternoon, Dante might call me, or he might not. But without fail, I would always get a call in the evening, and for some reason, these evening calls seemed different to me.
When Dante was first placed in Bancroft, he would constantly call and stay on the phone for a long time. When I would try to phone up by saying, “Ok Dante, I am going to get going, I will talk to you later ok?” Dante would reply with, “Hi Daddy.” That meant he wanted me to stay on the phone. As months passed, Dante did what Dante always does, he assimilated to new living conditions, another new world order. I was very happy and proud of him yet again, after all he has been through, and after all he has had to adjust to throughout his chaotic and unpredictable life, he plays the cards that he is dealt yet again.
Dante just Facetimed me about an hour ago this evening, and I was happy to take it. Dante was lying in his bed, with a movie playing in the background. I asked Dante, “Checking up on your old man? Making sure daddy is, ok?” Dante answered me with an assertive ‘yes’, ringing affirmatively. No cap (sorry I keep picking up this generation’s lingo) this response of took me off guard. I’ve always known Dante calls me because sometimes because he’s lonely and he misses me, and now I know that sometimes Dante calls me because he knows sometimes dad is lonely too and he knows that I always miss him.
